Best Weekend Ever

I guess.

This whole weekend taught me that my life is changing faster than I can keep up.

I have to grow up. Childhood's over. I wasn't like everyone else until this weekend. Now I fit right in. Watched a movie with friends, went to a football game with some buddies, went to watch the World Series at a friend's house with a ton of people. And an accident that lowered the bar that I once stood at--I really am on most other people's level now, or getting close. I was the exception to the rule and now I'm not so sure. I betrayed myself, I betrayed her. In a sense.

It'd be easier for my life if I'd just picked one and stuck with it, instead of being a flipflop my entire life. Now I'm almost schizo where I can hear myself say both sides of the story and I don't know what ideal to pick. I wouldn't contemplate every single thing if I wasn't like this--or I wouldn't be like this if I didn't contemplate every single thing... If I picked one side of the spectrum and stuck to it, I wouldn't be torn and frustrated with myself.

Gotta grow up. The path forks ahead. Where do I go? One way street. Life contines to move. Eventually, my path will be made clear--that path is dependent on now.

This weekend proved: 1-I have a life. 2-Being an exception to the rule doesn't make you immune--things change.

MIT essay is about my world. How my life and everything in it shapes my dreams, aspirations, and future. This weekend has gotten me to the closest I've ever been to defining that. I'm ready.

The Longest Friday


Highlights of the day. Full comboed Can't Stop Fallin' In Love (Speed Mix). Goddamn, you won't believe how happy I was. I've never been well enough (i.e. sleep and healthy) to do something like that in ages. (Yesterday's sleep-in helped.) And I probalby won't be for a long time. And I also beat Rashaad in perfects and by score on Healing Vision Angelic Mix. I beat Rashaad who beat Brenn. This means I'm effectively in the running for being the best player. (Yeah, right. At least, not on only PA or only fast songs [Maxes] or only freestyle. I've rounded my skills.)

Long day, fun day. Eh. I won't go into total detail. Lemme write up a list for me to remember later, though.

  • Glenn's 14.
  • Rashaad and Cory over for pizza and hanging out during the afternoon before DDRing at the mall.
  • Mall. Myles was there. Pat was there--for the first time in forever.
  • Music store. Chris (big Chris) is INSANELY good at the piano. It looked like he was using a prerecorded thing, but then we looked and he played some VERY nice stuff on several different pianos. And he showed us the $7000 keyboard in the store, because he has one similar to it. INSANELY good.
  • Theater manager. Looks just like Montel, the talkshow host.
  • Manager overhears that we said he looked like Montel. Rashaad tells him "I never liked your show anyway." Montel comes back and tells him (in that angry tone) "Go home, son."
  • People almost got into fights, almost got kicked out, etc.. Knives, fists, drunk people, fake gothic kids (like 11-14 years old), goth/anarchy posers (who don't really understand anarchy), people smoking outside, people fighting, messing around, talking about how some chick is gonna kill some dude, etc. Stupid fucking drama and shit. It's the usual.
  • Brenn's house after the mall, heh. Markivee was cool--not totally insane like last time, but insane like... Cool. Good guy.
  • Snow. Insane. I had to drive, and I don't drive bad weather because Mom never lets me. Challenging Mode. Fun.
  • Fin.

Anti-highlight of the day is that I decided to go to drop Rashaad off at his house. We spent 40 minutes round-trip. I should've stayed home. I got back and was able to say g'nite to Megan, 2 minutes before she left--she was gonna leave 30 minutes prior, but I got lucky, I guess. She really should've slept early--I wouldn't have minded. I didn't have the time to say anything in particular, nor would it have mattered.

She's taking the ACT tomorrow again. Me, being the rediculous guy I am got a 31 the first and only time I took it, but didn't bother to register for December and didn't realize to register for the February date. (Dude, the deadline was January 1 or something. And I'm totally not intellectual enough over Winter Break to think about it.) Eh... She should've gotten more sleep, I think? that's one thought.

Another thought is that I should've stayed home instead of dropping off Rashaad, because i didn't do anything--Mom drove and Glenn gave directions. Would've spent that time better talking to Meg. *sigh*

The one and only upside to all of this is that I'll see her tomorrow.

I hope she does great on that ACT. She's been preparing for it. I never prepare for anything in my life--and sometimes it shows. I hope she kicks my 31's ass--yes, I'm actually hoping someone does better than me at something. I want it for her.

I'm thinking... Megan might come here around 1-2ish. Then I'll probably pick up Rashaad. We might go up to the Mills and play some Pump. Then we'll head to Tropicana Bowling Lanes for DDR 5th Mix and/or bowling. I'm plotting... But there's no way to plot anything with a schedule like tomorrow's. I was already pre-emptively thinking, maybe I could give her a ride home for a change. Perhaps.

So much DDR. So brilliant--I played my BEST DDR today. Accuracy? I full comboed CSFIL-SM and beat Rashaad in HVAM. Freestyle? You should've seen me lay down Rhythm & Police and Freckles on light.

*sigh* This week's been too long. And I just fucked myself over, I think.

I'm making a 67.1 in German--where a 64 (I think) is where the line is drawn between D and F. I was supposed to do a presentation in International Relations but didn't, and told Snidman that I had family issues, which already exposes a hostile situation which may cause some unnecessary people to concern. I'm afraid of confronting outsiders regarding sitautions that are totally out of their understanding of me. I just don't like it.

But on that note, I told Mom that I think the whole family needs to get hooked up with counseling of sorts. The whole family's been having trouble with Dad, and I've been having trouble with him especially. I know he's especially having grievances with me as I have of him. I just don't want to talk to him directly because he doesn't listen or he'll start arguing again. I want a situation where neither he nor I can escape--have a middleman, a professional (a counselor or such) analyze it all and dictate. Etc.

Boy. This great day. there's no one online 'cept Rashaad now, and I'm too tired from earlier today to do anything. So I best go.

You know how hard it is to code HTML and PHP source on a sheet of paper using pencil? It's hard enough doing it on the computer for most people, lol. (Right click on this page and hit "view source". Imagine typing it all up. Now imagine doing the same on paper.) Anyway, that's what I did with freetime in class today, aside from finishing German homework that I hadn't done. Then again, I also booted up MandrakeMove, which is a Linux distribution that you can boot right from CD without it touching the hard drive, on my workstation in Networking. (Megan's dad and I had a short talk about it a couple weeks ago.) Me, being the l33t h4x0r I am, went into Windows beforehand, wrote down all the network information, and went into Linux and set it up to use the network. Apparantly, even though on Windows you have to log into the Novell network with a username and password, you REALLY don't have to do it. I could get into the network and internet without a login, just with teh network addresses and configuration right. Hah. That amused me. Sorry, I'm such a dork.

Well, here's what I learned today.

  • Murphy's Law works. I said at lunch "Nothing can stop me today, I'm on a roll." I'd had a great day. THen, 5th hour German. I ended up getting an abyssmal 13/28 on a quiz we took last firday. lol... Remember me bombing the first German quiz of 2nd quarter? I think these first quizzes have something against me.
  • You can hydroplane at 30mph. Let's just leave it at that.
  • The Great Gatsby in a nutshell, up to chapter 7.:
    "Yeah, so what's up?"

    "I've been sleeping with your wife."

Mmmkay. I'm off to talk to people online, do some homework, and get crackin' on the PHP backending for the blogsite flatfile database system. Good god, does that sound important and advanced... I love the ring to it. really, it just means nothing--don't concern yourself unless you're an utter nerd like me. You've been warned.

I spent the entire day flipping between working on homework and re-writing a blog backend, using flatfiles, so I can easily convert this blog over to an automated one.

I'm insane.

PHP is God for web working. I just realized how much farther I can go past plain HTML.

MD5 Checksum of this page's source (before random quotes and headlines and other random stuff generated):
<?php echo (md5_file($file)); ?>

So far, I've coded it all, not looking at the source of other people's blog scripts. I'm doing this with my own mind and my own resources--looking up stuff on and I used the script for random quotes/mottos (like on this page) for the array idea of the flatfile. I bet NO ONE reading this has any idea what I'm talking about, so I'll go back to coding before I lose my train of thought.

Also, I downloaded another song from Staind's latest album (14 Shades of Gray, I think) and I DEFINITELY think I'm getting this album.

And I also threw in a lot of songs into today's MP3 playlist that I haven't heard in ages--songs from Evanescence, in particular. "Whisper" is a GREAT darkly, gothic-sounding song. I can imagine a Vampire Hunter D or Hellsing video to it, actually. There's nothing like a gothic-esque choir to stir up thoughts of vampires and the estranged.

As much as I like football, I won't be watching The Big Game tonight. At least, I'm not planning to. I might catch some, but whatever.

I even forgot all about it until last night when Megan reminded me. -.-

Thank you to Holly and David (of South Carolina) for making me give up on the NFL Playoffs this year. ;p

Hm. Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, I haven't had more than 3 sodas since last Saturday. That's 8 days and I feel as healthy as ever. (Odd, considering I've also been getting an average less sleep over the week than usual. Then again, I had two extra days off.)

Jumpin' jehosafat yeah.