Let's play catch up, shall we? I got through the end of the school year—and bid bittersweet goodbyes to close friends graduating. I spent a week on the road, with highlights in Colorado and Utah. And now, I'm in beautiful Spokane, continuing my work at the Spokesman-Review. Not technically an intern this time around, but with a mere three-month stay, I might as well be.
About this time last year I decided to try and "go legit." Trim the amount of minutiae I'd write and leave only "professional" material, you know? Since then I've only occasionally written—and due to a strange sense of apprehension, rarely have I posted any of it.
I've been asking myself exactly what I want out of my blog on the internet. I've been tweeting semi-regulraly, but I've yet to really enjoy limiting myself to 140 characters—anybody that has read my blog before the drought and anybody that has gotten an e-mail from me knows that I'm pretty uh, verbose. And that apprehension and lack of updating has been gnawing away at me, little by little.
Admittedly, this drought tied in with some intern drama and discussion that happened around this time last year, a lot of it having to do with some "inside baseball" talk of newsroom affairs. It didn't happen here, near, or anywhere involving anyone associated with me, but this whole bit with Jessica DaSilva hit a bit too close to home for me: I, too, was a newspaper intern at the time, in a newsroom constantly bracing itself for an uneasy future. It was an okay time to learn to bite my tongue.
So I had this seed of doubt planted in my head for a while now, unsure of exactly what I wanted to write or what I could write. In some side writing, I jested that the overwhelming connectedness of the Internet was causing hysteria regarding what you could get away with saying or having online. In school, a lot of teachers preached the double-edged sword of "you really need to be in social media," but "you really need to keep it all super professional." You got told about Twitter, but you were also told to try and sterilize your Facebook profile.
But, I counter: if I'm going to be social media "friends" with folks and if I'm really going to operate profiles and a Web site that employers and the public can see—well, I'd rather have them judge me on the honest fucking truth than some high and tight face I'm trying to put on. Mostly because I realize that:
- I trust my judgement. As it is, I don't regret a lot of things I've done and I think I'm mature and steady enough to not make a complete ass of myself. (Although there's a particular frightening photo of me on Facebook that seriously invokes Rufio from Hook... I dare you to find it.)
- I'm a terrible liar. That is, I'm not very good at it and (as I have recently found out) I'd rather be dead silent than play a face.
- …I had other reasons, but I guess one and two seal the deal in my mind.
I'll admit, I'm unusually deliberate and self-conscious, but aren't most of us raised to be responsible for ourselves anyway?
See, we're all human, we all grow up, we all make mistakes. Blogging here doesn't mean I'm going to be perfect all the time—more likely, it should be, in itself, a timeline of what I've done, where I've traveled, what I've thought, how I've grown. It's been a personal blog, it's still a personal blog, and while I'd love to see it do something else, them's the breaks for now.
I've missed writing only somewhat—since I've obviously been writing all along. What I've really missed is being Mike Tigas when I write in the open.
The worst thing you can do to a career in media—especially in this so-called Information Age—is forget who you are and that you have the ability to voice your own distinct opinion. Watch what you say, yes. But be yourself and say what you need to say. There's a reason why everyone and their mother has a blog: it's easy to do it.
Think I just fell into the habit of over-thinking it, 's all.
I used to be a lot better at this blogging thing. Here's my way of saying (mostly to myself) that I'm back at square one and I'm willing to give it another shot. (God, doesn't that sound like a relationship "make-up talk" right there…)
And I swear, I will stop writing in my verbose, self-serving tone as soon as I can. Okay, I might be lying on this one.