Home Again

Back home from a long trip. I can talk details if you ever want a conversation.

It's amazing how comforting it is to sleep in my own bed again (I have a queen size bed to myself, heh) and to actually be wearing clean clothing and take a good shower in my bathroom.

But life's all the same at this point. There's a lot for me to do in my mind, especially before college comes up...

We'll see how it all goes. I've got some fun most likely in store tomorrow. Monday I'll most hopefully be seeing Sara at the airport as she gets back and then maybe spend some time with her and then sometime that day I'll have to drive my cousin Dana back to Columbia. I want to take the A+ Computer Technician Certification tests this week and the Network+ test next week. Dad wants to go on another vacation (long pointless road trip) in the beginning of July but the rest of the family doesn't want to; not to mention Chris should be coming down here to visit from New Jersey during that time anyway. Like I said, we'll have to see how it goes. Fate has been dealing me some very strange hands lately, the least of which was:

I'd forgotten that I'd scheduled Summer Welcome for Mizzou on June 20-21 and that Sara comes back from her trip to Italy and Greece on the 20th and I promised her I'd be at the airport to meet her. Now, I was going to call Mom to tell her to reschedule, but the day I was planning on telling her such, she called and said that Mizzou canceled that day. Apparently fate was one step ahead of me.

I miss her a ton, but I've gotten myself to deal with it. I seem to be at terms with it because I'll see her again quite soon and because I have faith in her and us. I miss having her in my arms, staring her in the eyes and all, but for some reason I really really miss her voice. There's something about the tone in her voice when she says things like "awww, boo" that's quite uplifting and heartwarming. Something in it that just makes me smile. I have to say that something's changed in me this year that I miss so dearly something like chit chat with someone. I have to continue to tell myself that I'll see her very soon now, only a day and a bit away.

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I'm still telling Kayla to go for it and call the guy simply to talk because her fear and seeming reluctance to call just drives her situation apart. (Not to mention they need to talk and get to know each other before anything else can happen. Talking works very well.) I left her by telling her to keep her chin up and not to be scared of her own feelings.

Funny when I think about it. I still find myself anxious when it comes to doing something with Sara. It's mostly that I never know of any good activities to be doing and that I'm not very conversational. But I'd been to the brink of anxiety, only to cast all of those fears and anxieties aside as I asked her out to prom. I didn't know what I was doing then, therefore the same unknowing shouldn't bother me now... Heh, I really need to take my own advice.

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*yawn*

I came to an observation of my own (and other people's) blogging habits and realized that once you remove angsty teenage bitching/contemplation and shit like that, there's not too much that's worth blogging about or bloggable except for "what I've been up to" (which people don't really care as much about), side topics (stuff better suited for conversation about anyway), or other forms of contemplation (romantic, political, sociological, economical). (Jeez, look at the content of this post.) And usually with those I also don't really have much of a will to write on it but on random nights like tonight. The era of having many posts a week (sometimes even several a day) has been long gone, heh.

What also amuses me is that most of the posts from that era are also highly irrelevant thoughts that are neither angsty, contemplative, or substantial in any serious context. Heh.