Fate

I have issues with control. At least, control over my life.

I mean, if I don't have plans, then I intend not to have plans unless you know, an emergency or a really good reason or good idea comes up. (i.e. heart attack, Ameristar, or Megan's house) If I do have plans, as ill-conceived as they are, I want to keep them. Hence my irritation at my father's knack to jump on us with "plans" he had that he happened not to tell us.

At least, I think that's a good excuse or rationalization to my irritation to what my dad does to me.

Anyway, that's not the point.

The next 5 years of my life are TOTALLY dependent on what's taken place since October started and through February. I submitted the MIT application moments ago, with a godspeed and a prayer.

At least on the MIT part, my fate is not in my hands anymore. What comes out of that decides my future. It's crazy to think that one packet of papers weighs so much on your life. But it's true--and it's not in my hands anymore.

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You can read my application essay. I think I did better than some other people did.

And a big thank you, thank you, thank you, to Karen, Steve Slagg, Tony, Mitulski, and Megan, for reading and replying by the end of the night. Definitely had enough input to tweak the weakest parts. Though I didn't fix some things because I preferred natural tone opposed to "perfection". I mean, I wanted to sound me. heh.

[An application to MIT is much more than a set of test scores, grades and activities. It's often a reflection of an applicant's dreams and aspirations, dreams shaped by the worlds we inhabit. We'd like to know a bit more about your world. Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?]

Variety is the spice of life, or so people say. If my life were a meal—if I were say, a steak—then the flavor of my life would best be described by the people around me. The people in my company are in effect, the sauce that tops my life. Alone, meat is often lacking in taste. However, a sauce can marinade and top the item, bringing out inherent taste while adding totally new flavors.

If one could imagine, for a moment, the best steak sauce in the world; many would hold high the traits of a sauce somewhat sweet, somewhat tangy, with a decent amount of thickness, and a good level of spice. Something bold that delivers a brilliant variety to one's palate. Delivering variety in the flavor itself, and making this a recursive analogy, of sorts. Variety is crucial to many things in life and has an ability to rear itself in many aspects of the world.

I was born in New Jersey and raised in central Missouri and suburban St. Louis. The variety of people and places I've seen and interacted with is astounding. My best friend lives fifteen minutes north of my house, and my first and only girlfriend lives about an hour south. My family hails from the Philippines and I have spent time in Germany as well. Close friends of mine live from Arizona, to South Carolina, to New Jersey, to Canada, and have lived for weeks at a time in urban centers, rural locales, and foreign lands. I interact with many people from different lifestyles so frequently, that I enjoy hearing opinions that are totally new to me.

The lessons one learns and the morals one sees and the different lives experienced in an environment like this enhance one's upbringing so much. I was given the opportunity to view life from many perspectives and choose my own path. It's similar to the philosophy that to understand the world, you must understand yourself, though an inverse to it. Everyone should think through different eyes once in a while and comprehend themselves from the outside. Without experiences like this, people become static and intolerant. We become homogeneous and slowly turn stale, tasteless. To truly bring out one's inherent flavor, one must absorb the collective juices of the world around them.

It's the variety of my life that drives me to innovate. New people, new places, new ideas, all fuel society. Freshness, growth, and rebirth, fuels life itself. Changes must happen for things to continue to take their course—whether it be in mother nature or in the bowels of a busy society. Through all of my limited experience, I've found that the best philosophy is to follow what I believe is right and to work that feeling into fruition. I believe that change and variety are crucial to growth, and therefore I want to make my future as bright as possible by pushing myself to fresh things.

Without variety and change, things quickly become boring. I often dip and dab in many things at a time, not anchoring myself to any one direction or concept at a time, because of this. I once described myself as a vagrant—wandering aimlessly. However, I see now that there was and is an aim. I want to know what every angle feels like, so I can find the right one for me and understand others at the same time. I want to have done for the satisfaction of having done. I want to have done for the satisfaction of having felt what others feel. It is harmony that I see in variety. Beauty and order, reaching through chaos and entropy.

Like a proper spice that adds proper boldness to a meal, I want to use what flavors I have to add to the world around me.