Note: I no longer blog here, and have not posted here since the mid 2010's. (😱) Please check out the homepage, which probably has links to more recent projects, photography, and (perhaps someday) writing. Below is the original content of this post:


Busy with work, rather. Not work work, but things to do, actually. Yesh. I think I've got that cleared up nicely.

Haven't had a regular weekend since before Spring Break.

Let's see... When was last blog post? The 2nd? That was... Hm... Wednesday... So it's been a week.

I was out on Thursday also. I was gonna go to school, but decided it'd be better if I got all my make-up work done then, just to be on the safer side. And it worked. All ready Friday, and I'm all good.

Saturday... Was bleh. Spent the morning working at a soup kitchen in the ghetto for community service. Got lost on the way home, because the other group we were following decided to take a food stop. Well, not lost, but... We took the long long way, at least. Hey, at least I'm back.

Standardized testing this week and next.

I made Honor Society.

I made it into the Missour Scholar's Academy.

I've been on a roll. The worst part is, I'm starting to get exausted, partly. This weekend I'm heading to Columbia, Missouri, to Rock Bridge High School, for the GPML State Finals. (Yeah, I made state, too.) Rock Bridge... I'd be going there if I didn't move to St. Louis in '96. Or was that '95?

Anyway. Every time one of those good things happened to me, I could only remember one thing. Something CHris e-mailed to me. (He'll hate me for this one.) SOme angry shit about how I'm perfect and whatnot.

There was this one line that went something like "I hate how everything is going your way, in almost every sense."

All my life, I've never thought of myself as the best of the best. Sure I'm great, but I'm not at the top. There's tons better than me. But the longer I've gone on, the reasons have become more like excuses. I've been saying that I'm not really that good, and it's just because the rest of my school's stupid. The fact that I'm being compared to idiots. But seriously. It's been coming upon me that I might actually be as good as they say. Which means Chris is right. And that I'm starting to lose whatever clarity I have about myself.

I know I'm smart. (My IQ test in December said 134.) Mostly, that hasn't meant a lot to me. Until I realized how much smarter and faster than everyone else I was...

At least the future's gotten a bit more focused for me. I'm looking forward to some sort of spiffyness in my future years. I'm actually even hoping to join the Air Force Academy. The requirements are crazy. But I'm already halfway there. What I need now is to get myself fit as hell.

Actually, what I need right now is a good rest. I can't do it this weekend because of State. Maybe next. It's a 4-day Easter weekend anyway.

Holy shit. I'm going to state. I need to rest. I've already been overloaded with Math with this MAP (Missouri Assessment Program) standardized testing. Wish me luck. I'm probably not gonna update for another long while. (You know, until I find something else to rant about, or until I find that I haven't updated in a week.)